Zombie Sheriff Read online

  Chapter 6

  Fence post

  The next day Ed was high above the ground in a state patrol helicopter searching for the missing fugitive doctor and his two deputies. Nobody knew if the doctor somehow subdued the two officers and escaped or if they took off as a group. Then a call came from a state patrol officer on the ground, they had found the deputies vehicle abandon on the side of the road nine miles from town.

  The helicopter landed and Ed got out along with another state patrol officer. They approached the abandon car that was being taped off by state patrol officers at the scene. As Ed approached, he noticed the tires were covered with mud which stood out as odd since it hadn’t rained in weeks.

  “We didn’t find anyone in the car,” an officer said. He was writing down information on a notepad. His name was Alan Wagner.

  “Did you notice the mud on the tires?” Ed asked.

  “Yes, it’s a red clay, very common around here.”

  “I know, but it hasn’t rained in weeks.”

  “They must have been driving near a pond or the river, who knows?” Wagner asked.

  “Hopefully you will soon,” Ed replied. The sheriff felt groggy and tired. It had been weeks since he had last eaten and knew he should contact the hospital for supplies.

  “You alright?” Wagner asked. He noticed Ed was having a hard time focusing on what was going on.

  “I need to eat,” Ed replied.

  “You’re diabetic?”

  “No, but I get the same way if I don’t eat enough.”

  “I got some gum, will that help?”

  “No, sorry, I have to make a call,” Ed said as he took out his phone to dial the hospital. Once he had someone on the line, he had the call transferred to the morgue to speak to his contact. Wagner listened to Ed as he spoke. “Yeah, could you send me out something, I’m not feeling my best,” Ed said. Then silence while the tech on the other side replied. “That’ll be fine, you can send it to my house.” Another pause and they said their goodbyes.

  “What did you order?” Wagner asked.

  “They have two hysterectomies scheduled for today, they’re overnighting the results to my house. I should have them by morning.”

  “Hysterectomies?” Wagner asked.

  “Uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes,” Ed replied.

  “What are you going to do with them? Use them as fish bait?”

  “No, I eat them,” Ed replied.

  “That’s fucking sick.”

  “No more sick than fast food if you ask me,” Ed said.

  “You’re eating human flesh, how can you do that? Isn’t that illegal?”

  “I have special permission. Most people don’t know about it because I don’t make it public. Sorry you had to hear that,” Ed said.

  “What? You have a permit?”

  “No, they passed it as part of some farm bill, hid it in there so nobody would know. You can look it up online.”

  “They passed a law just for you?” Wagner asked.

  “Yes, sort of, it was one line in a huge farm bill. They mix up shit all the time in different bills. It’s all legal, I have connections to three hospitals for supplies. I call, they deliver and they send me a bill.”

  “Like ordering pizza?” Wagner asked with a grin.

  “Yes, like ordering pizza,” Ed said shaking his head. “Now about this car, what have you found out?”

  “Well, nobody was in the car, we haven’t found anyone or anybody nearby. Like you said, the tires are covered in mud but there are no other obvious marks to be found. Our crime lab truck in on the way to dust for prints and do a fiber search. Nobody’s been in the vehicle, we taped it off as soon as we got here.”

  “Very good, so no signs of foul play, just an abandon deputy’s vehicle with mud on its tires and no sign of the passengers,” Ed said.

  At the Henderson hog farm, Dr. Dorn and the two deputies sat on the ground tied to a metal gate that led to a three acre hog pen. It seems Deputy Shultz contact wasn’t as friendly as he thought they would be.

  Then a farm hand approached. “Mr. Henderson is coming out to see you,” the worker said. He was Hispanic and spoke in a broken accent. Once the worker said what he came to say, he walked off and left the three sitting by themselves.

  “I thought you had a friend here?” Pam asked.

  “So did I,” Schultz replied. “He was always nice to me before.”

  “Maybe there’s a reason why he was nice to you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe he had something to hide? Did you ever think of that? He was kissing your ass.”

  “How would I know?” Schultz asked.

  Dr. Dorn spoke up, “Stop arguing, we’ll find out soon enough, here he comes.”

  A large farm truck pulled up and parked next to the fence kicking up dust that blew in everyone’s face. The driver’s side door opened and a short thin man stepped down onto the ground and approached the three tied to the fence. It was Henderson’s son Jason. “What’s going on?” Jason asked. He was holding a shotgun.

  “Hey, where’s your old man?” Schultz asked.

  “Out cleaning hog shit, why do you care?”

  “Why the hostility?”

  “Maybe because a patrol car pulls up on my property.”

  “You got something to hide?”

  It was silent for a moment as Schultz realized he may have hit on something.

  “I don’t like uninvited guests on my property, especially the cops,” Jason replied.

  “Sorry, I wanted to talk to your dad about something and I didn’t have his number to call first.”

  “Why would you want to talk to my dad?” Jason asked.

  “I needed some help, and still do,” Schultz replied. “And may I ask what you did with my patrol car?”

  “I had Carlos get rid of it.”

  “Get rid of it? Why? We didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “You came onto my property uninvited that in my book is wrong. Now what did you want to talk to my old man about?” Jason asked.

  “We needed help disappearing,” Schultz replied. Once he said the words he regretted them.

  “My hogs can make you disappear in about a day.”

  “We came for help, not to rob you.”

  “You’re trespassing, I have rights.”

  “You don’t have the right to kill us and feed us to your hogs.”

  “I don’t think they’d eat you anyway, you look like you have a disease.”

  “Technically I do,” Shultz said. “They call it zombification.”

  “If the hogs won’t eat you, I’ll grind you up and spread you in the field.”

  “Why are you so hell bend on killing us? Can I speak with your father please?”

  “He told me to take care of you myself,” Jason replied.

  “What’s going on? What are you hiding out here?”

  Jason got a shit eating grin on his face. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Jason stated.

  “Yes I would,” Schultz replied.

  “You don’t get to know, it’s feeding time in two hours,” Jason said. He turned around and got back in his truck. As he drove away, the truck kicked up more dust that blew in their faces.

  “Now what?” Pam asked. She had lost a heel as she was pulled from the patrol car and dragged over the ground that covered her in dirt.

  “We only have once chance,” Dr. Dorn replied. “Matthew will have to tear off an arm in order to get loose from our bindings.”

  “What the fuck?” Schultz asked. “You want me to rip off my arm?”

  “That’s the only way, then you can free us,” Dr. Dorn replied.

  “My other hand will still be tied up.”

  “Yes, but you will have the freedom to use your free arm to untie us.”

  “No, I’ll still be tied to the fence, just with a torn off arm.”

  Dr. Dorn thought for a second. “Maybe you’re right. “Bu
t if you’re arm is torn off, you can loop it around the fence and escape.”

  “Yeah, so I’m free but my hands are still tied together and I have my whole arm dragging behind me tied to my other hand by a rope.”

  “Run to the shed and find a saw, you can cut off the rope and come back and free us,” Dr. Dorn said.

  “That still leaves me with a missing arm,” Schultz said.

  “Better a missing arm than ground up and spread on a corn field,” Pam said.

  “What makes you think I can tear my arm off like that?” Schultz asked.

  “You’re a zombie, you were practically dead for a hundred years. You have so much rot that I can’t believe you held together in the first place,” Dr. Dorn replied.

  “Yeah, but they did stuff to me at the university, pumped me full of drugs and did rehab. I’m not like that anymore.”

  “I still think you should try,” Dr. Dorn said.

  “I’m sure you do,” Schultz said. “It’s not your arm.”

  “Even if I wanted to, I don’t have a knife to cut with and I can’t chew off my own arm, not like you can.”

  Pam spoke up. “I agree with the doctor, you should chew off your arm.”

  “Fuck you both! I’m not chewing off anything.”

  “Then I guess we’re hog food,” Pam said.

  Schultz sat there shaking his head. He couldn’t believe what these two were asking him to do. But at the same time, that seemed to be the only option. He swallowed hard and leaned his head back against the fence thinking about what to do. He desperately wanted a second option.”

  “We can jump them when they try to feed us to the hogs,” Schultz said.

  “They’ll shoot us while we’re tied to the fence,” Pam replied. “We won’t get that far.”

  “Is there any way you can get loose?” Schultz asked Pam. “You have smaller hands.”

  “No, they’re tied so tight I can’t feel my fingers anymore.”

  “What about you doc?”

  “If I could get out I’d be out by now. Now stop asking stupid questions and start chewing!”

  Schultz realized there was no other option. “Fine!” he shouted and turned his head to the right to start chewing.

  “Are you right or left handed?” Dr. Dorn asked.

  “Right,” Schultz replied.

  “Then chew off your left arm, you’ll need your right.”

  “I’m really starting to hate you,” Schultz said.

  “You won’t hate me when you’re free.”

  Schultz turned to his left and dug his teeth into his shirt. His teeth weren’t strong and ripping through the fabric was very difficult. Tug after tug he managed to make a small hole and get the shirt to tear.

  “There you go, good job,” Dr. Dorn said.

  “Fucking shut up, I don’t need a cheering section,” Schultz said and continued to tear his shirt apart until he had enough skin exposed to start chewing his arm off. After taking a good long look at the grey dead looking skin on his shoulder, Schultz dug his teeth into his skin and tried to take a bite. It hurt like hell but he knew it was either take off the arm or be hog food.

  For the next half hour, Schultz bit into his shoulder and took out chunks of flesh, tendons, veins, arteries and whatever else he could find.

  “God that smells,” Pam said.

  Pissed, Schultz turned and spit some tissue into Pam’s hair. “Fuck you Miss America,”