Zombie Sheriff Page 9

  Chapter 9

  The next week

  Pam sat in a cell at the courthouse awaiting her fate. The county attorney put in a request that the execution be held again, this time by a method that would be sure to end Pam’s life. From what she heard, the recommendation was burning at the stake or put in a wood chipper. Then she heard the sheriff walking down the hall talking to a woman, the voice she recognized as her lawyer and ex sister-in-law Susan Hanson.

  “How are you doing today?” Hanson asked as she approached the cell.

  “They reattached my head, temporarily,” Pam replied. “They have to order some parts to make it permanent.”

  “I have news for you,” Hanson said.

  “Are you coming in the cell?” Pam asked.

  “Yes,” Susan said as she looked to the sheriff.

  “Sorry,” Ed said and signaled the dispatch to open the door.

  With a clink and a clunk, the door slid open and Hansen stepped inside. Ed signaled for the door to shut and walked away leaving the two women to discuss Pam’s case.

  “What’s the news?” Pam asked.

  “Well, the bad news is that the county attorney wants to hold a second execution as soon as possible, tomorrow if he can get away with it.”

  “Is there good news?”

  “Yes, the ACLU called and offered their services. They are in agreement that since you are one of only three known zombies that your sentence should be commuted to life. They also disagree with the decision to make kidnapping a capital offense.”

  “Why is it a capital offense? Nobody died,” Pam asked.

  “It wasn’t always like that, the law was changed a few years back due to some knee jerk reaction to some crybaby politician who was kidnapped. He made it his mission to change the law and got his way. You have protesters outside the jail right now.”

  “I do? Cool,” Pam said. “So now what?”

  “So now I go down to the courthouse and put in a motion to have your execution stayed until we can get this straightened out,” Hanson said.

  “What if he says no?”

  “They always say yes, if he says no the ACLU will file and if the judge loses on appeal he won’t get reelected.”

  “So I’m safe for now,” Pam stated.

  “Yes, for now,” Hanson replied. “But I do have to say that there are protesters out there who are against you as well.”

  “What? Why?”

  “They think you’re going to get special treatment because you’re a zombie. They don’t think you should be able to get around the law just because of what you are. To them, the law is the law,” Hanson said.

  “Fuck them,” Pam said.

  “I’m not here to agree or disagree with them, I’m here to serve my client to the best of my abilities. But I’d watch out if I were you. If any reporters get ahold of you, don’t say a word. If it gets out that you're a belligerent bitch, they’ll roast you out on the courthouse lawn in a second.”

  “Will I have another trial?” Pam asked.

  “No, you’ve been convicted, the issue is the punishment. We’ll stand before a judge again to argue, but you will serve some sort of punishment. Just depends on what the judge says,” Hanson replied.

  Two days later Pam and her lawyer were in the courtroom of Judge Vern Bramhall ready to make the argument that another attempt at killing Pam was double jeopardy. They were also going to claim that Pam was no longer human and therefore human laws no longer applied to her. The last argument was that she was rare and that killing her would be tantamount to species extinction. They were confident that one of the arguments would work and that Pam would receive life in prison and not execution.

  “All rise,” the bailiff said and everyone stood as the judge entered the chambers.

  “You may be seated,” the judge said and everyone sat down.

  “Your honor, we have Reed versus the county of Colfax,” the bailiff said aloud.

  “What does the county have to say?” Judge Bramhall asked.

  The county attorney stood up and walked away from his table. “The county asserts that the condemned serve out her sentence of death immediately that is all.”  

  “How does the defendant respond?’ the judge asked.

  Hanson stood up and stated, “We contend that another attempt at killing my client would put her in double jeopardy, we also contend that since she’s a zombie and no longer human, that human laws no longer apply to her. And lastly, we call upon the court to realize that as a zombie, she is one of only three living examples alive today. Killing her would be a tragedy of epic proportions.”

  “Thank you, the county will begin arguments,” the judge said.

  The county attorney stood again and found a spot to stand halfway between his table and the judge’s bench. “I would like to address all three points made by the defendant one at a time. First, double jeopardy does not apply to the punishment phase of a court action. It only applies to the trial itself, once the defendant was found guilty of the capital crime of kidnapping, her options were gone. In double jeopardy, you can’t be tried for the same crime twice, but there is no provisions for not being executed twice.

  The second point I will address will be the contention that the defendant is no longer human and no longer is subject to human laws. The defendant has not brought in any medical experts to establish her claim as fact. Just saying the defendant isn’t human doesn’t make it so. She may be different than the rest of us, but that doesn’t make her anything else. She had human parents, I’ve never heard of anything but a human born from a human. She may be a zombie, but to me that’s neither here nor there.

  The third point I want to address is the claim that executing the defendant would be the same as exterminating a species. There is no scientific proof that zombism creates a different species. From what I have read, it’s more like a medical condition, like leprosy or flesh eating bacteria. I don’t claim to be an expert in the medical field, but I believe it is apparent that the defendant is not a separate species and in fact is as human as the rest of us,” the county attorney said.

  “How do you reply?” the judge asked Hanson as the county attorney sat down.

  Hanson stood up with papers in her hand. “I have medical studies that proves the county wrong,” Hanson said as she held the paper up for everyone to see.

  “Did you provide those to the county?” the judge asked.

  “Yes your honor,” Hanson replied.

  “Go on.”

  “According to the studies done at the University of Idaho, zombism is more than a medical condition. It actually changes the persons DNA. It creates a new species. Zombies can’t breed with other humans that is one of the hallmarks of what makes a species.”

  “If this is true, why didn’t you bring it up at trial?” the judge asked.

  “I didn’t know this evidence existed at trial. It wasn’t until yesterday that one of the professors at the university read about the trial and brought me this information.”

  “Let me see that,” the judge said. The bailiff took the paperwork from Hansen and set it on the bench. “I’ll read this in my chambers later, what else do you have?”

  “We do contend that attempting to execute my client would be double jeopardy. There is a case in Ohio right now of convicted killer Romell Broom who was repeatedly stuck with IV needles at his execution. They couldn’t find a vein and survived and is now suing to have his execution stayed permanently due to double jeopardy,” Hanson stated.

  “Objection!” the county attorney stated. “I’ve read about that case, they never got the injection started so there is a claim that there was no execution to start with. You can’t have double jeopardy if the procedure didn’t occur. If the lethal injection made it into his body and still survived, I’d see your point, but they never got that far.”

  “I’ll take that into consideration,” the judge said. “I can’t rule on that until I do some research. Is there
anything else you want to say?”

  “We rest your honor,” Hanson said.

  “Does the county have any further arguments?”

  “No your honor,” the county attorney stated.

  “We will recess until tomorrow at two, I should have my decision by then,” the judge said.

  Back at the law enforcement center, Ed came to Pam’s cell with some papers in his hand. He was smiling and trying not to freak his former deputy out. He rattled the papers and got her attention. “How’s it going?” Ed asked.

  Pam sat up from lying on the cold steel bench dressed in her orange jumpsuit. “I don’t know, I think I have a good chance, but it could go either way. What do you have there?” Pam asked.

  “This is the report from the Henderson hog farm. Remember those water tanks filled with pond scum? Turns out the Henderson’s were trying to cross lake plants with pot and make some sort of hybrid.”

  “What the fuck?” Pam asked.

  “They had some ingenious plan to hide a drug operation by growing it in lakes and ponds. They figured nobody would look for it there.”

  “What did they find?”

  “Turns out hog farmers should stick to farming hogs. All they did was get busted for growing the pot. The water plants didn’t do anything. They would have been better off putting fish in those tanks, at least then they could have started a bait shop,” Ed said.

  “They shot Matthew over some stupid science experiment?” Pam said with a smile.

  “Yes, and because of that, the Henderson’s are now either in jail or the state penitentiary. The farm was seized and the hogs were sold off.”

  “What a bunch of dumb fucks,” Pam said.

  “I thought that might cheer you up.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” Pam said. “Have you heard anything about my case? Are they putting up a wooden stake outside the courthouse to burn me up?”

  “I hear rumors, but rumors don’t mean shit,” Ed said.

  “What kind of rumors?”

  “Coffee shop rumors, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No, you brought it up, what have you heard?” Pam asked.

  Ed hesitated and shuffled around. “Just some assholes saying you’re not going to win, you know how people talk in this town.”

  “Yeah, I do,” Pam said. “They’re probably printing t shirts right now that say burn the zombie. People are assholes.”

  “Exactly, so don’t get worked up about it. I’m sure the judge will do the right thing,” Ed said.

  “I’ve been on the stand in his court plenty of times testifying. I’m not a big fan of his,” Pam said.

  “Then why didn’t your lawyer ask for a different judge?”

  “Because Judge Bailey would have been ten times worse,” Pam replied.

  “You’re probably right about that,” Ed said. “I think you have a great case, don’t worry about it, you’ll be fine.”

  “That’s easy for you to say, you’re on the other side of the bars.”

  “Hey now, they did say I’m a freak too you know. This affects me as well.”

  “Like how?” Pam asked.

  “If they rule you’re not human, that means I could lose my social security, not be able to have a driver’s license, all sorts of shit. I might lose my job as sheriff and end up living on the street begging for food.”

  “You eat human flesh, who’s going to give you that?” Pam asked.

  “That brings up an interesting question, where did you get your food all these years? You didn’t have a contract with a hospital,”

  Pam looked away and didn’t answer.